Something More

“May Day May Day”

admin — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:48:59 +0000

Are you distressed about your love life? Make Love, Not Stress

Long term chronic stress can have serious implications for your health. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it can also affect your love life!

1. It decreases your sex drive

One of the symptoms of stress is a decreased sex drive. When you’re tired, tense and anxious it’s hard to be in the mood.

2. I’ve got a headache—really!

Stress causes muscle tension, pain and headaches. When you don’t feel good physically, sex loses its appeal.

3. Stress creates more conflict

Stress increases conflict in relationships even though it may be unspoken. That further diminishes your desire to make love with your partner.

4. Stress uses energy

Stress saps your energy both mentally and physically. If you’re really stressed when you go to bed you probably just want to sleep and escape from what’s worrying you for a few blissful hours.

5. Stress is distracting

No one enjoys making love with someone who isn’t fully present. When we’re stressed out our minds tend to become mired in our worries. It makes it difficult to focus on anything else.

Luckily nature gave us a great stress remedy—sex. It’s ironic, but sex is a great stress reliever even though stress plays havoc with our love lives. Yes, you’re tired, tense, have a headache and you’re distracted by your worries. Make a pact with your partner to create a joint strategy to deal with your stress. Give each other a massage to deal with those tense muscles and pains. Maybe take a soothing bath with your favorite bath oil and scented candles. Make time to meditate. Doing these things together and for each other will help you to reconnect and feel cared for at a time when that’s very important. If these stress busting activities lead to sex that’s wonderful – with the added bonus that it will further relieve your stress. If you fall asleep without making love, that’s okay, too. Sleep also helps with stress and you may end up making love in the morning when you’re feeling rested and refreshed from a good night’s sleep. Make a commitment with your partner that you won’t let stress rob you of your love life.

Room to Bloom

admin — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 22:15:40 +0000

The weather’s warmer and love is on the mind. When isn’t it? Here, Austin-based professional matchmaker Julia McCurley shares her insight on how you can stir up a Spring fling in your own life and create new experiences you’ve been craving.

Love is in the air. Literally. I was walking my dog around my neighborhood recently and I found myself engulfed in this amazing fragrance. “What’s that smell?” I wondered. Perfume? Detergent soap? No, it was blossoms, flowers in bloom. In the next moment I realized I was witnessing a natural, yearly occurrence. It’s spring!

It felt like a celebration, at least one for my nose. Then I started seeing the trees all around me, marveling at the new sprouts and greenery. I see it in my own backyard, the Crepe Myrtle trees full of fuchsia blooms, roses, and tulips peeking up from the ground sending me hopeful signs I will be enjoying some beautiful floral arrangements soon to brighten up my home.

As I think of all the new life around me, I wonder about our own capacity to bloom. Mother Nature is a profound instructor. Does she have something to teach us with her beautiful spring? We’ve all heard the term “spring cleaning,” a time to clear out the old and usher in the new. Maybe we take on physical projects to spruce up our homes? Perhaps, we begin a new workout regime to get in shape? I’d like to offer another idea for this springtime moment. How about letting go of bad habits and being good to ourselves to create more room for the bloom of love in our lives? We can use the metaphor of wiping the slate, and we can savor the message from Mother Nature to begin again here, too.

Every year, without fail, the blooms always occcur. Right now, in this season, we have the opportunity to see ourselves in bloom as well, creating new ways to improve how we feel about others and ourselves. What would it feel like to think about us as freshly minted in our minds, free of heaviness? Let’s start by picturing our minds as a closet, and then apply the spring-cleaning concept to our mental baggage and wipe away. Let go of some of those old ways of dealing with challenging situations in our lives. If you are dissatisfied in certain areas, whether it your job, marriage, etc., ask yourself: what would it feel like to start over with new thoughts applied to these familiar circumstances?

Our clients at Something More receive extensive coaching on to apply the Law of Attraction to their romantic life. In other words like attracts like. If you are looking for someone fun, exciting, and intelligent, then you need to become the person you want to attract. This is a great example of changing our thoughts by taking action. As they say, action speaks louder than words.

The first step is to tell ourselves a different story about the situation. For example, let’s say you want your significant other to help out more around the house. You might have wished this for a long time, and every time you think about the situation you get mad and feel disappointed because it hasn’t changed. You might even feel helpless about being able to ever change it. You may not be able to motivate another person, but you can change what you think about the situation. Instead of saying to yourself, “I wish my significant other would contribute more to running our household.” Instead try, “I love my spouse, he/she is trying and I believe he/she will find a way to improve.” It may seem too simple or easy to just find a happier thought, but try it… I find that it works.

Other examples may be “I wish I would get more social invitations.” Instead of waiting around for the guest list to magically include your name, why not start having your own dinner parties and create your own fulfilling social life that might in turn produce those invitations you want? You could even start some sort of wine club, book club, cooking class or whatever you’d like to pursue to satiate get those social interaction cravings.

At Something More we recommend to our clients to have a semi-annual cleansing of the mind and heart. What this means is to get rid of all negative thoughts and to not dwell on past relationship disappointments. This may sound cliché but it is very true, things could be a lot worse, someone else is suffering more than you. Put a pen to paper and make a list of all the positive aspects in your life, and embrace an attitude of gratefulness and humility. Expressing a loving kind heart to everyone you meet is an excellent way to focus on giving to other people to make them feel good about themselves rather than letting bitterness and anger get the best of you.

Our minds don’t have to hold on to old messages if we’re not telling ourselves the same old thing. Our minds can incorporate new ways of thinking and these new thoughts will make us feel better. The trick is finding something truthful about the problem and saying the new truth to ourselves instead of the same old tired thought.

Ghandi had it right when he famously said, 0ur beliefs become our thoughts.
Our thoughts become our words. Our words become our actions. Our actions become our habits. Our habits become our values. Our values become our destiny.

It is time to create your own destiny. You already know how to feel bad about certain situations. Change your thinking. This spring, take yourself on a journey of self-awareness. So when you’re clearing out the garage, why not take a whack at your mental cobwebs too? Clean out your old thoughts. Begin again. You might just feel great starting immediately.

Lust, Love and other drugs

admin — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 23:06:43 +0000

As a Professional Matchmaker and relationship coach, I hear a lot about the need for chemistry. My clients talk about instant chemistry, hot chemistry, sparks flying, etc. You get the picture and you probably have your own description of this as well.

While I agree, there has to be attraction for a relationship to work, I’m going to tell you something that you might think is absolutely sacrilegious:

Hot chemistry is not an indication of a long-lasting partner.

What? How can I say that? Because I’ve lived it myself, I’ve read a lot about this topic by the experts and I’ve spoken to thousands of people about this requirement.

Hot chemistry, that sizzling, spark flying feeling is about lust and a great sexual partner. Unfortunately, that man often doesn’t have staying power regarding relationship vs. sexual satisfaction. Think about it. Right now, take a moment to think about the hottest guys you’ve been with.

Did those relationships last more than a few months?
Were the guys good to you and treat you well?
Did you fight a lot followed by hot “make up sex”?

This is nature’s trick on women. I don’t know why. The men who seem the hottest to you most often disappoint you, break your heart, and leave you wondering what happened. After all, how could a man walk away from such passion? For one thing – there’s always more passion and another woman.

Yet, you pine for Mr. Chemistry. You miss him deeply and think with chemistry like that, the relationship was “meant to be.” But, I want you to hear this message loud and clear:

When you find a relationship that is “Meant To Be”,
it continues, it’s more joyful than drama-filled, and
you bring out the best in each other.

If you had a relationship that was hot and steamy and it ended, don’t go looking for a replacement with similar qualities. Enjoy those memories and be grateful you had a good time. But, WAKE UP. Open your eyes, heart and mind to seek a good man, a man with lasting power (not just in the bedroom). Look to meet men who are compatible in all areas that are important for a healthy, loving relationship.

Such qualities include honesty, integrity, a similar view of life and the world, money and work ethic, acceptance of each other’s religious beliefs, compatible life styles, some overlapping interests, and an appreciation for each other’s sense of humor. These are indicators of long-term potential in a man and a relationship.

You know how women say a man thinks with his little head vs. his big head sometimes? Same thing goes for you! Don’t think with your lady parts. Use your head, not just your heart and nether regions. Those two parts of you are not always the best at making decisions about love. You know this is true because you start doing foolish things you regret to keep him around way past the good times.

If you want a satisfying, long-term, loving relationship, start thinking of other qualities first besides chemistry. You can still find someone you are attracted to and have good chemistry with. It might not be the super hot, totally engulfing chemistry – but that’s when you know you are onto a man who could be a really good match for life.

Datings in Your 30′s, 40′s, and 50′s

admin — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:00:18 +0000

Julia McCurley talks about what its like to date in your 30′s, 40′s, and 50′s.

Julia McCurley Reviews a First Date

admin — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:57:20 +0000

After watching a first date, Julia McCurley talks about some do’s and don’ts.

Why not to feel embarrased about using a matchmaking service

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 19:19:27 +0000

Let’s be honest, we all harbor romantic notions of meeting the person of our dreams serendipitously. But the harsh reality is that whilst juggling successful and demanding careers, busy lifestyles and elevated expectations how many opportunities are there really for serendipity to make that one-in-a-million encounter occur? This is why many of us are now turning to modern approaches, such as online dating, singles events and dating agencies. So shouldn’t we be thankful that we have all these choices available, rather than put undue pressure on ourselves and hide our participation in shame?

Seriously, why are we embarrassed and uncomfortable about admitting our partaking to others? Is it the fear of being perceived desperate? But what’s so desperate about proactively seeking your personal goals, you wouldn’t be judged in the same way if you were being proactive to achieve your professional goals. Is it the prospect of being viewed as a failure? Isn’t a failure someone who gives up after not being able to fulfill their desired goal? This is contradictory in itself, you’re not giving up, you’re rising to the challenge by exploring alternative ways to fulfill your goal of meeting a life partner. Perhaps, it’s the idea of marketing and selling yourself as a commodity? Is it really that bad to see yourself in a positive light and to let the world know what a wonderful person you are (within reason of course!)?

Surely matchmaking services like Something More are now at the height of social acceptance, given that it’s a rare day, when there is not something in the media associated with the industry. There are even several top rated reality shows depicting the behind the scenes of the matchmaking business. Using a matchmaking service is the new luxury for yourself. You have the career, the house, the car, etc. Why not take charge of your love life and stop leaving things to chance.

You may well wonder what difference it would really make, to admit using services like Something More? For starters, you take the pressure off yourself. You don’t need to worry about who may see your details online, feel anxious that the person you bumped into at a singles event may tell a mutual friend, or even tell white lies about your whereabouts. By being honest and open, you will feel more relaxed, perhaps take part in more events and increase your chances of meeting someone. Furthermore, you know how hard it is out there, trying to meet Mr or Miss Right. If you succeed through any one of these services like Something More, by sharing your experiences with others, you give them hope and in some cases the will to overcome their own reservations and possibly try it for themselves.

As we try to disassociate ourselves from using these matchmaking services, perhaps we’ve missed the point altogether and simply need to remind ourselves of the bigger picture. Imagine you want to go to Dallas, flying is the most convenient and quickest method, but there are no flights available. Although it’s not ideal, you now have to use an alternative mode of transport. By not flying, did this make you a failure? Should you be perceived as a social misfit? I think not. In fact you should be pleased with yourself that you made it to your destination, despite the transportation challenge. As for the friends that you’re meeting there, they don’t really care how you got there, they’re just happy that you’re actually there.

Are you getting the drift now… If you meet your partner through any one of these matchmaking services, 10 years down the line when you’re looking back and reminiscing about your married life together, you may remember your first date, your wedding day and the birth of your children, how significant will it be that you used, and met through a service like Something More? At the end of the day, you’re on a journey to find your life partner. The mode of transport used on your journey is irrelevant, as long as you reach your ‘destiny-ation’ – you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed – the most important part is that you get there in the end!

Beauty and Lifestyle Expert

admin — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:44:11 +0000

from Julia McCurley on Vimeo .

New Year, New You

admin — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 21:59:39 +0000

Out with the old, in with the new, right? This time of the year we are all so excited to make a fresh start, clearing away the past to make room for the future. Professional matchmaker Julia McCurley gives us the inside track on how seven steps just might make this your best romantic year ever.

The majority of people make New Year resolutions every year and nearly all of them fail. Have you ever thought that the fault is not in the people making them, but in the kind of resolutions they create? Most resolutions are about giving something up or self- improving types of decisions to lose weight, quit smoking, go to the gym, etc. Those are all great goals and definitely ones to take care of before putting yourself out there in the singles scene.

So once you are in a healthy place both physically and emotionally, why not make a conscious decision that giving back to yourself is the best way to finally find love in 2012. What this means is to focus on making permanent changes that will help you in all aspects of your life. January is the perfect time to wipe your slate clean of last year’s love mistakes to ensure that next year really is filled with lasting love. If you are serious about fast forwarding to the relationship of your dreams, it’s time to commit to the following seven life changes.

1. Eliminate Old Patterns

If your luck in love is going to be different next year, the first thing you need to do is get honest with yourself about the patterns that are holding you back. Think back through the last few years – what have your experienced over and over? Do you pursue while he/she withdraws? Are you forever rescuing him/her? Resolve to catch yourself making the same mistakes, then walk away, so you can create new, healthy habits in all areas of your life.

2. Date Outside Your Type

Chances are if your “type” hasn’t panned out for you by now, it’s time to discover a new type. Quirky artist not working out so well? Mr. Wall Street never emotionally available? Is Ms Seductress playing head games? Resolve to date outside your normal comfort zone. Consider opening up your expectations in regard to age, height, income, religion, job, etc. Soulmates come in unexpected packages – broaden your horizon and you are more apt to stumble upon an unexpected.

3. Guard Your Time Wisely

The best way to fast forward to The One? Stop wasting your time with people who are clearly only Mr./Ms. Right Now. As long as you give away your valuable time, attention, and emotion to the wrong partner, there will be no room to find the right relationship. Limit yourself to three months of dating and if the bond does not have more obvious potential by then, move on. Remember, actions speak louder than words. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Do they do what they are saying they are going to do? No matter how large or small even a simple promise, like calling you on time, tells a lot about a person’s true character. As Maya Angelou states, when someone shows you how they are with their behavior, believe them.

4. Change Your Routine

Yes, doing what you’ve always done, will get you the results you’ve always gotten. If you haven’t found the right partner during your usual routine, it’s time to get creative in your daily & dating activities. This is a new year, and the best way to meet new people is of course – to try something “NEW.” If you get too comfortable in doing the same routine for the rest of the days and months- and or years; it might end up to be monogamous and boring. Now is the time to explore. Take a different jogging route, try out new activities which you might like, go out to restaurants and cafes in which you haven’ been to. By doing so, you can discover and learn new things and get to meet new dates and people.

5. Be Friendlier

If you are the bashful type, now is the year to finally conquer it. Time for you to build up your confidence and gather your courage. Picture this, he’s so near, yet you can’t even say “Hi” or give a smile. Don’t waste any more time and give it some effort. Say “Hi” and learn to smile more. Pump yourself up with courage and try looking at people in a relaxed and friendly manner.

6. Master Your Nervousness

If you are one who gets overly giddy when it comes to first dates; then you are not alone – it’s all due to the butterflies in the stomach, the nerves and the first time jitters. Too much giddiness or nervousness could turn a good date into a bad one, or sometimes, vice-versa. Due to all the nervousness that you are feeling when conversing with them, you could get clumsy and not concentrate, thus, your strengths tend to not be revealed. This time around, tell yourself that its just a natural feeling to be nervous, but don’t let it overcome you.

7. Share Your Best Self

Maybe it’s not just what you are doing that needs a makeover, but who you are and how you show up. Get real with yourself by asking: What about you isn’t as attractive as it could be? Ask your closest friend for honest feedback. Do you tend to be overly anxious or pessimistic? Are quick to pass judgment or so shy you fade into the background? Maybe it’s time to hit the gym, get some cute clothes, or try a new hairstyle? Remember you never get a second chance to make a first impression and 2012 will be a year that is very impressionable on us all.

For more information on Julia McCurley, professional matchmaker based in Austin, and her services, visit www.trysomethingmore.com

Slather On Some Fall Fruits To Get Smoother And Softer Skin

admin — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 21:03:42 +0000

Download PDF Version of this Story

Fall fruits are not only good on your fork, they are also good on your face. Or for that matter , the rest of
your body. Julia McCurley, is a beauty and lifestyle expert with The Society Diaries magazine and in
addition to eating these fall fruits she thinks we should be applying them directly to our skin.
Here are four examples of skin care products that have fall fruit ingredients to help improve the appearance
of skin.
1. Burt’s Bees Cranberry & Pomegranate Body Butter
A delectable blend of antioxidant-rich cranberry seed and pomegranate oils along with hydrating cocoa and
jojoba butters, it marvelously melts into your skin.
Price: $13
2. suki Renewal Bio-resurfacing Facial Peel
A corrective antioxidant-rich organic peel, enriched by cranberry glycolic acid and pumpkin & apple
enzyme that reveals a visibly smoother, refined complexion. The cranberry specifically targets a dull
complexion and damaged skin cells. The apple & pumpkin treat clogged pores & toxic buildup.
Price: $75 at sukiskincare.Com
3. Decleor Slim Effect Contouring Gel-Cream
With its fresh and non-sticky texture, this gel-cream enhanced by fig fruit extract is rapidly absorbed and
acts to help promote the reduction of existing fat cells, prevent the formation and storage of new fat cells,
and restore the skin’s elasticity and firmness.
Price: $61 at decleorusa.Com
4. Booty Parlor Pomegranate Skin Honey
A luxurious kissable body topping that comes in this pomegranate fruit festive fall flavor! Infused with an
exotic cocktail of aphrodisiac ingredients and flavors, this edible elixir will nourish your skin and light up

How to Date Your Mate

admin — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 20:45:04 +0000

Create some zest in your love life
starting here and now.
Here’s how…

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