Have you ever wondered how to use love languages at work? The more you understand the different ways people show love, the more likely you are to notice those gestures and feel appreciated even at the office. . You actually can parlay this knowledge into all your relationships — your family, your employees, your friends, your babysitter — it applies to everyone
Like it or not, your job is kind of like a romantic relationship. Your co-workers and clients see you at your best (your presentation to the SVP) and your worst (pulling your hair out at the end of a 70-hour week). You’ve made a commitment to spend every day with them (at least for a couple of years).
And, just like marriages, business relationships take work to make them last over time. In a moment when almost 60% of employees feel unappreciated at work, your ability to show authentic employee appreciation may be a determining factor in your ability to retain employees. Learning how to use love languages at work is a great way to retain key employees.
How do you determine what someone’s love language is?
• How does this person treat others?
• What does this person complain about?
• What does this person request most often?
• When a team member shows off the presents they get from loved ones, that may mean they are gift-driven.
1. Words of Affirmation = Feedback + Mentorship
Who doesn’t feel better, happier, or more productive when they’re told they’re doing a good job? Sending a colleague a quick email when she’s done a great job on a project will speak volumes about how much you appreciate her work.Make sure its sincere and specific.
Examples are:
organize a meeting celebrating the wins and advancements of each member.• I appreciate how you . . .”
• Thanks to your work, we . . .”
• “The you provided helped me/us to . . .”
• You excel at and that helps me/us to . . .
Indeed, a lack of recognition in the workplace can cause us to doubt ourselves, our abilities and make us feel less secure in our roles.
2. Quality Time = Workplace Bonding
Fulfilling the needs of those who crave Quality Time requires that we slow down and truly connect. The delight of giving someone your time is in letting them know you want to spend time with them, not that you have to spend time with them.
• Group lunch,
• celebrate anniversaries,
• face time,
• team building,
• volunteer work,
• stop by their workspace just to catch up
• • “Let’s sync up on this together . . .”
• • “I’d love to hear your thoughts on . . .”
• • “Would you like to join me for
3. Receiving Gifts = New Opportunities + Challenges
There are times when you might need to woo your clients or colleagues with a gift. This is not a reward that may come with strings attached. A gift, on the other hand, is given without conditions. Make gifting random, personal, and unconditional.
• Sharing new helpful information
• Giving away promotional items, boxes of treats, or a gift during the holidays can be meaningful gestures that are sometimes more appreciated than an office drop-by
• paid time off.
• pre-paid experiences like event tickets or gift certificates for restaurants, movies, and spas
• “I saw this and thought of you because . . .”
• • “This is for the amazing work you did on . . .”
• • “I want you to have this because .
4. Acts of Service = Support
Going above and beyond your typical call of duty is also a great way to delight your boss and co-workers. If your colleague is having a particularly stressful week and you have some free time, offer to proof her important report, or see if there’s something you can take off your boss’ plate.
Sometimes all a co-worker really needs in order to feel valued and appreciated is help with finishing or collaborating on a project/task
• “Is there anything I could do for you that would make your work easier?”
• “I’ve got some time, and I’d love to help.”
• “What would be the biggest help to you right now?”
5. Physical Touch = Encouraging Touchpoints
if you have employees or managers who are touch-driven, consider giving sensory-friendly gifts like Snuggie blankets, squeeze balls, or gift certificates for spas as a proxy for actual touch.• “Virtual high-five!”
• “I want to shake your hand for the outstanding job
you did on . . .”
• “You get a big pat on the back for .”
There are 2 winners when it comes to the top love language for receiving appreciation: Gifts (33%) and Words of Affirmation (32%). I highly recommend that you learn how to use love languages at work to accomplish goals and build relationships.
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